Wow, this thing is ancient isn't it?

I haven't been on here since like the dawn of time, maybe even farther... hm... let me rephrase:
I haven't been posting on this blog since the midnight of time.

Yeah, I don't really have much to say really, I guess it's more like, now that I'm in university, my life has gotten more hectic.

I've gotten so much homework, like I'm swamped bro. Yeah, I say bro now, one might even say I'm straight... right. I guess there's not much I can really say, more or less anyway. I'll do my best to update this blog, but I really doubt it. I mean if my life was exciting I'd blog like mad, but I'm not... seriously. The most exciting thing to happen to me this month was well... I spent more than an hour at the Disney Store for three consecutive days deciding on whether I should get Mulan or Pocahontas from the Disney Animators' Collection. Yes, they're dolls, they're meant for kids 3+, but do I give a flying fuck? HELL NO.

Oh right, people read my blog because I'm "funny", so let me try some hilarity:
In class today I was chosen to represent the class in a cruel, sadistic activity my professor called, "Class Discussion" I forgot to read for this chapter, I'm usually on top of those kinds of things, but I guess I was just busy. Anyway, I was in front of the class, and might I add, the guys in my History class are more or less attractive. I have the hots for one, but I'll get to that one day; so as on can tell, I was nervous. I stood in front of the class, and well, my inner gay came out, I was a huge sassy bitch basically giving attitude to my prof, was it obvious to the prof? No, but to the students, yes. I got them to laugh, so I guess that's good.

Ok, so today's post is kind of on the dry side, but don't worry, I'll write a post with more sustenance soon!
I'll keep you posted, for those who still check, thank you so much! I love you!

Follow me on Tumblr if you like!
vaginasausage.tumblr.com

Well now, I've decided to go with the grain....

I got Tumblr [ http://mindmymales.tumblr.com/ ]

  I know right, I was surprised too, but I guess all good things must move on in order to keep up with da timez, but just so you know, I will be posting on here... Maybe, I still haven't decided....

  Well, follow my new little Tumblr, and please feel free to tell EVERYONE (:

Gurl's been bakin.

   Yeah, you read right, I was baking, I bake all the time... wait, did you think different kind of bake? Like self bake? Pfft, f that s. I got stuff to do. Maybe one day when the clock strikes well.

  Goodness, I am so gay, it sort of hurts, I bake, I clean, I cook, I'm friggen Julia Child over here, well more like a mother, but whatever.

  I baked cupcakes, and a cake, the cake I substituted like half the shortening for margarine instead, damn was that a bad idea, it now tastes like a sad little lemon cupcake took a giant sadness filled dump in it, but nonetheless I won't waste it, so I'll force myself to eat it. Haha.

  Anyway, I'm sure when it's easter I'll have time to properly post, for now try and enjoy my picture of a rock:

So, it's been a month..

    Anyone remember that time where I said I would normally post updates and everyone would be like, "Oh gee wiz, that Micah kid is such a daring and hilarious person, I think I might go gay for him." Ok, no one would ever say that, but if someone did I would be pretty excited, but that's going to have to wait till later, I know I have been lacking drawings for the past while, but my tablet seems to be on the fritz [Haha, I'm so 90s] But do you best to not worry, I will get it fixed...

   In other news I think James Marsden is very attractive, especially when in a suit, refer to fig.1

Fig.1

  Now, Spring break has been going on for a while now, I unlike many other schools have two weeks, the first week was totally fun, I was out like almost everyday, seeing as a majority of my friends live outside the district of Surrey, then the second week hit... I've been at home every. single. day.

  Now, any normal person would be like, "Oh gee, Micah, you're such a LOSER." And really, I agree with you, but I've gotten to learn a lot in these past few days....

Ok, no, F^CK. THIS. SH!T. I DIED.

  Anyway, I did fine. I had a fun week, I did no work, I cleaned the home like a good little gay, I baked... also like a good little gay and now I'm in the midst of writing my Writing project.

   Did I mention I'm going to bake again tonight? Oh yeah, this boy has some fire coming out of his shoes gurl.

That's what i TRIED to make

It turned out delicious... But not that pretty....

    Also, I finished God of War III, I'm not going to spoil the ending, but for those who have finished it I will say, unsatisfied, I was still hungering for more... But, a thought occurred to me while playing the game... "Gee, Kratos... Deimos and well... Basically all the gods would looks soooooo good naked."

     I know, it's a whole new level in creepy, weird, gay and well, me. But really... Deimos is like my secret lovuurrr....

Kratos' brother! Their family sure was a lucky bunch!

   Anyway, I think I'm done with all my little banter, I didn't want to go for 2 months without an upload so I kind of cooked this up all in 30min. Thanks for reading thus far, I'll continue the post I started on February 25th...

Quick Post

I just thought that even though I am gay, I'm boring and I... Well I'm not too conservative is all I'll say... Anyway, I'd just like to say, thanks for reading my blog, like honestly, I'm already dying of happiness every time I see I have had 2 page views today... Yeah, it's pathetic, but I will forever try to update all the time and hopefully make your day better! Anyway, thanks. That's about it (:

My Hopefully Hilarious Article about men.

Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian.

“Men are pigs, but we love bacon.” – Michael Alvear

The above statement applies to almost every human being who is attracted to the male gender. There will always be men in the world, and unfortunately, among the men there will always be the types who frustrate people everywhere. Generally there is a type of male for each category of men, whether it’s nerds or jocks there will always be one. Among the horrors are a few men that will literally cause a person to scream out in agony. After much research I have come up with a list of five excruciatingly painful men. No matter where you are situated at the moment, whether it’s England, Sweden or somewhere in China, I hope you can relate to this and laugh along with some of the very literal and real situations.

5. The Ugly Douchebag

Let’s start out at a club, a nice night out with friends. You’re at the club with your friends, the big blinking strobe lights putting you into a mood of pure ecstasy. You feel like you’re on top of the world and that no man can ruin your day today, but then you feel weird patch of warmth around your groin area. You immediately turn around and see a sweaty, fake-tanned and gelled haired person grinding all over you. It’s completely disgusting, and don’t worry; everyone agrees with you. It’s an Ugly Douchebag; everyone has encountered a fair amount of them. The “U.D” is always around and ready to party, even when you-and the rest of the world-is ready for a rest. The U.Ds are the fake-tanned, Ed Hardy-clothed and fist-pumping weirdoes that saunter around the place. It doesn’t matter that you’re in the mall, the grocers, the cinema, the club or even the park because you’re bound to encounter at least one. You can tell you’ve been a victim of the U.D with these few signs: A) The strong stench of hair gel, cologne, fake tanner spray and sweat lingers on most of your outerwear. B) Whenever you hear a catchy song with a strong beat you feel the irresistible urge to crouch down on the ground and “catch that beat.” C) When your boyfriend cheats on you, you get mad at everybody, but the man in question. If any or all these above signs apply to your boyfriend-or you-well then congratulations because he may be an Ugly Douchebag.

4. The Conceited Douchebag

Imagine that you’re sitting in a nice and peaceful café, drinking your charming little cup of tea while reading a very classical piece of literature. When suddenly you are interrupted by a loud and completely obnoxious call coming from a male. Judging from the looks of the others around you, it seems he yelled a very rude and vulgar word about the male genitalia. Upon closer inspection he’s quite attractive so you ignore the sudden outburst and continue reading, but you’re still displeased. You’ve just experienced the Conceited Douchebag, not to be confused with the Ugly Douchebag. The C.D is very close in comparison to the U.D, but the only difference is that the C.D is attractive-and he knows it. The C.D is very cocky, loud and arrogant. The C.D’s mannerisms are very annoying also, they like to over use words such as, “man”, “dude” and “bro”. The C.D also constantly refers to many extremely lame and stupid videos from the Internet. If one ever were to ask a C.D what their favourite show was Jackass would be mentioned at least once. It should also be noted that the C.D’s only good trait is that they’re attractive, and that’s always their excuse. Forget that they cant read more than seven words at a time, who even needs reading anyway? The natural habitat for the C.Ds are, the local frat homes, a bar of any sort, a “Bro’s Crib”, and of course anywhere else that houses skanks with big fake silicone boobs. Also, prepare to be bombarded with excuses like, “Who needs manners when you’ve got abs like mine?” Oh, right you are C.D right you are.

Now that the first two types are over and done with, I can now get into the last three. These last three boys will make you wonder why weren’t born a lesbian in the first place. Well, without further ado let’s jump into the world of…

3. The Clingy Types

You’re sitting at home, on the couch having a nice and quiet evening indoors. You have your snuggie pulled up to your chin; the TV is turned to your favourite episode of Sex and the City, the bowl of popcorn resting on one lap and your pet resting on the other. *BUZZ, BUZZ* Your phone is vibrating, you check the phone screen and you see that it’s your (ex)boyfriend sending you a message-great- you ignore it and continue your movie. Five minutes later the phone vibrates for a second time signaling you that there is a new message; you choose to ignore it. Another five minutes and you get a call from him, frustrated you answer the phone… turns out he just wanted to say good night to you before he went to sleep for the night, annoying. Yes, that’s a common situation with a C.T. The C.T is not a very common type of male, but if you get the unfortunate luck of running into one you’re going regret ever meeting this man. The C.Ts are very cute and thoughtful at first, but after a week or two-to put it plainly- it gets completely annoying. This man will call you over and over again asking about your day and if you’ve been talking to any other men lately. At first you think he’s just looking out for you, but on the contrary, he’s just plain clingy. The C.Ts doesn’t have many signs that flare out at you at first meeting. They also don’t look any different from the rest of the males on this list, which is a plus or a negative depending on how you think about it. Having experience with one, I know that men like these drive people crazy. With their late night, “I love you” messages, their “You’re beautiful” notes in your locker/cubicle/mailbox and their abundance of compliments, you just cant help but shout, “leave me alone!!!” To put it plainly, they’re attractive, but completely clingy. If one could look the other way then they must have high annoyance tolerance. Think about it, even Lady Gaga wrote a song about them… wait, I think I hear the telephone; I’ll just ignore it.

2. The One That Got Away

It’s like a movie; they’re hot, funny, well mannered and completely charming. No matter where you meet this man it will lead to complete and utter sadness. For example, pretend you’re at a social function, you see a very attractive young male across the room, and did he just wink at you? You take notice that unlike his friends he is not participating in the keg stand that is currently in progress. You notice his fine toned arms, his casual yet formal attire, and his subtle messy hair look. In your head you check slowly check off the criteria list for a man’s outer appearance, he passed! Finally you bring up the nerve to talk to this charming young man. You and that mysterious man strike up some small talk, the weather, the recent movies out and possibly what Lady Gaga has been up to lately. Suddenly his phone rings, he answers it, you find out it’s one of his co-workers asking about something in regards to his high paying job. Before the man on the other line can finish his sentence the O.G.A will interrupt him saying something about being in the presence of a beautiful/charming young lady/man. That act alone makes you swoon.

Somewhere after the call you and the O.G.A will get into some deeper topics, his hobbies, how he enjoys children, his recent artistic achievements in painting, his enjoyment in bodybuilding, and his mother’s recent death. This man seems absolutely astounding; you are completely blown away. As you’re quietly imagining a future with this man one of his friends run up to him and informs him of his friend who seems to have passed out in the bathtub. The O.G.A will tell you that he’ll be right back and he runs off to aid his friend, you decide on whether or not to go and check if he or his friend needs any help, but you decide against it. After a long while you seem to notice that it’s almost been an hour, you try to avoid the thought of never seeing him again so you continue to wait. As the people in the party start to file out one by one you don’t seem to see him in the crowd and the realization hits you like a truck, he’s not coming back. It’s completely tragic and sad that you’ve lost your future husband, but look at it this way; you could sell the rights to your story and make it into a generic movie plot!

And finally, the worst type of man in the world will be revealed. All these horrible people are nothing compared to these men. These men will make your skin crawl, your throat might constrict and your heart just might stop beating! Well, no more stalling let’s get to the good stuff.

1. The Illusionist

Admit it, you’re confused. I’ll admit, the name isn’t very explanatory, but when one knows what an Illusionist actually is, the name will seem like a perfect fit. First, one needs to know how amazing this man actually is, he’s perfect, he’s a complete gentleman, he has manners, he’s a good listener, he’s sensitive, he will message you back with more than just a one letter response, he remembers dates, he has an amazing body, he’s funny, he's kind and of course he looks like an Italian Supermodel. Why, he seems amazing doesn’t he? Why, of all people on this list would he be on here, he seems completely wonderful! Did I mention he was taken? Did I mention his girlfriend/fiancé/wife is a completely frumpy woman who seems to have a one-track personality? Doesn’t that just frustrate you to maximum capacity? What if I also added the fact that this man was you best friend? Of course if you were a female let’s say he’s gay instead and that he has an equally amazing boyfriend, vise versa for gay guys. It’s just so frustrating! Why in the world would these men exist? They’re so perfect yet so… not! Perfectly described as an illusion, hence the name Illusionist. These are the types of men everyone wants in their lifetime, but these are also the types of men no one will ever have a chance with. Whether he’s gay or straight, married or almost there, he's unavailable 24/7. He’s a danger not to be messed with, but if by chance you do happen to get him to deviate from his partner and go for you… well then, can you really live a morally guilt free life knowing you’ve ruined a very lucky girl’s relationship with the perfect man?

So there you have it, the five most frustrating men in the world. Always remember that in this world there will always be the Ugly Douchebag, the Conceited Douchebag, the Clingy Types, the One who Got Away and The Illusionist. All we have to do is just take life in a stride and never let men get us down. After all, life is one big meat aisle and all you have to do is find the right type of bacon… or just go vegetarian.

Here we are! Totally procrastinating...

   Haha, yeah it's amazing isn't it? I'm very surprised that I actually committed to this... I could go into detail about how I have commitment issues... but I'd rather not. I mean in English last year I wrote a very off topic speech... Surprisingly it was really good, I laugh at the thought...

  So, I've realized that I'm pretty stupid, I'm sure most of the people I know can already tell... You know I wouldn't be surprised if the people I didn't know thought that too... There are, of course, the select few who would beg to differ... ok... I made it up, but still, I have faith. But! to further prove that I in fact am stupid, I have evidence gathered from my recent actions:

Ok... Maybe I'm not stupid... Just really weird... And I might have a case of ADD... Ha....ha....ha...
I should get myself checked... Rainbows coming out from one's mouth isn't really... Well normal.

To eat? Or not to eat? There should never be a question.

So, here it is, part 1...

If you're cool enough you got it! It's a quote from my new favourite movie!! Easy A! Like omg I bought the Blu-Ray right when it came out! I was like, "Omg! Let's rush to HMV like I need this sh*t!!"

    In the end I had to buy it with my own money... But I didn't care it was EMMA STONE! Like she is the hottest girl I've ever seen! And trust me, I'm gay so my standards for girls better be good if not I've sort of failed.... Haven't I?

   In any case I thought I should show y'all a picture of this beautiful person... For you... Non-Believers!

Emma F*CKING Stone!

  Still not convinced? Maybe you're gay... Or straight. I don't genderize!

   Anyway, so i went to HMV and they had one left... for 29.99 not including tax. As an Asian I really pondered my options... Like, "Do I really  want it? Is it worth the 34$?" but they only had ONE left! So like it was what I'd call the "O" moment like my sudden realization.. It was either now or never, you know?

  In my mind that's basically what I saw anyway....

   So in my own self pity I dragged myself around the mall to follow my mom... At Reitman's, ZZZellerz, Sear[killmenow]s, seeing a pattern? Anyway, we ended up in WallMart and like I dragged my helpless body towards the movies and there I saw it... The 24.99 priced Blu-Ray of EASY A. Basically I sogged myself. Like twice. And so I gladly bought it with a big huge grin.

    And that's how I aquired such an amazing movie in which I saw 12 times already... Yes. I'm happy with my choice.

Sticking true to the females are hot theme, I present thee with:

Anne Hathaway

The girl I will ALWAYS think is the hottest

"Snow is like a strip tease. When it starts you get all excited and want it to keep going. Then it stops abruptly and you go, 'That's it?!'"

This is another consecutive blog post!

In light of the amazing Urooba [http://underuroobasumbrella.blogspot.com/] who is like "O.m.f.g. This chick is amazing and I want to have her babies." At least that's what I think they say when they read her blog. I'm pretty sure I'm at least 78% correct...
Anyway! As I was saying, in light of this situation of me being unpopular and totally like lame, I've decided to pretend I'm popular... Here! To make it easier for you I drew how my thought process worked. [PS. Took me 3 hours, but I FOUND THE WIRE and so, we can see half assed drawings!]

No, I'm not a girl, but my hair is long, so I decided to make it that way...

Anyway, that's how it went. So with Urooba's amazing help, I've decided to chug along, whenever I have time I will do the best I can to draw and such. I sill need to find my writing style....

On a bright note, LOOK A HOT GUY!

James Marsden!

Carpe Diem BITCHES! (:

I will totally blog more...

So my new years resolution [My friend seems to think that your birthday should be your *New Year*, I mean I agree and all, but I want to be generic and lame. So I've decided to ponder it..] Anyway... My new years resolution is to blog more and be totally popular and loved like my friend Urooba [http://underuroobasumbrella.blogspot.com/] So I have thought up some new ideas, how they'll fly? I don't really know...  Also I don't know when I'll post, but I will! I really want to... I just always forget. I call it a curse... Though it's not...

Maybe I should upload a picture of hot guys every post?

 James Dean

Chris Rockway *Beware, tis a porn star*

Should I randomly upload the anime characters I just can't help, but think are super delicious? [I did not draw these BTW.]

 Bruno

 Byron

Lt. Surge

Maybe like my idols [Like "The Oatmeal" http://theoatmeal.com/ or like "Hyperbole and a Half http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/] I should draw pictures while talking about my life... 

[Ps. I don't have my tablet wire I actually need to look for it, so it'll get better.... I hope... Well I'm sure it'll be better... Honestly, my mousepad on my laptop can't do my AMAZING drawing skills ANY justice...]

Or should I like write about my life and just stick to what I'm doing, I don't know... I'll come up with something...

What do you think?

I call it the power of Micah is awesome.

I call it the power of Micah is awesome.

Answer here

My Perfect Man.

- Tall, maybe taller than me.
- Must have nice arms.
- Nice teeth, braces are a plus.
- Looks good in and enjoys wearing plaid.
- Funny, understands my humour.
- Good listener, knows how to help when needed.
- Chivalrous.
- A hopeless romantic.
- Has some dorky qualities, like enjoys old movies, vintage clothing... etc.
- Not any more feminine than me.
- Does not smoke or do drugs.
- Enjoys reading from time to time.
- Has a decent mind, as in intellect.
- Has a high tolerance for dirty things.
- Has a job, as long as he's not a hobo.
-Can be a judgmental bitch like me
-Facial hair, a chin strap is really hot, or like a 5 o'clock-ish shadow
- Gay, I can't have my heart broken again.

Why do I always wait a month or more to post?

So... how are y'all? Super, anyway... I just wanted to say... OMFG. WHAT. THE. WTF.

So yeah, it's been a month, yet again. I know... It's not like I wanted to wait like 100 years to post, but you know I'm in like grade 12 now and I have to do all these school related things before I can like... Well you know post.

Anyway, I got casted into the play "Storysphere" and it was written by one of my friends Alexis Tyller and it is actually really amazing, and I'm not just saying that because I'm in it. It is actually really funny.... I play Zeus so that means I get to wear a toga and I have a beard... pretty self explanatory there.

Besides the rehearsals and the lines to memorize I also have a multitude of essays in which I have to write, usually I get 5 or 6/6 but then recently I got my first 3, and as you can tell as an Asian I take personal and emotion offense to that, I have threatened to end my life about 700 times. Ok, I'm kidding, but honestly... I don't know how to cope with such a horrible experience. So I have my final tomorrow, and I know that unless I get a good mark in that I'm gonna die a lonely and miserable death. I know it seems harsh, but it's like grade 12 English, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be like... important.

In other news I've gotten my heart ripped out. I made the mistake of falling for yet another guy whom isn't into the male gender. Yes, for the second time in my life I have fallen for someone, and this someone is someone new. I've only liked one other guy before him, so really it means a lot. I mean I have this list, and I call it the list of my perfect man, and this guy fits like 99.99% of this list. [The list is here: http://mindmymales.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-perfect-man.html ]I mean he's perfect, just not gay. I thought I had a chance at first, I'd flirt with him and talk to him, it seemed like he did too... But really I guess it was just my opinion. I mean everyone else said he was, but then at the same time many could see that really he likes one of my good friends. Recently that was proven to be true and now my heart is in two.

So this is obviously not one of my brighter posts, but don't worry. The next post will be filled with rainbow and bacon bits.

Bacon Bits. They're totes nast.

Quickie, in the alley.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARDENE I FREAKING LOVE YOU!!! IM WEARING YOUR SHINY BELT RIGHT NOW!!!! <3

Dear holy mother f*cker

So as you can tell this little post is gonna be about my prayers to the holy spirits!! And I apologize in advance, I'm typing on the iPad and as one can tell I am not good with these things so I tend to spell things wrong... So I'll try to make this short, but sweet.

So I went to a birthday party today, shout out to Nisha!!! Yay you! Can you believe we've known each other for like 5 years!!!! I can't haha, I love you and I think you're awesome, don't be not awesome!!!!! And well I bought her a nice gift it was from Bang-On so you know, product placement!!! Anyways I asked for a gift box which looks like a pizza box so I told her out of genuine stupidity I bought her a vegetarian pizza and omg she hates vegetarian pizza btw, so she was pretty mad when I told her, not like I was gonna tell her I didn't get her that. I told everyone to not mention it to her, and so when it came down to opening the gift and "eating" it she kept trying to put it off, then she finally opened it and was all, "omg, Micah I hate you." but really, how can anyone hate me? I'm so interesting!! I'd be my own best friend!! Haha I'm kidding, I'm not that full of myself.

For my friend Selena I got her a bunch of you know magic things I can't really say what on here, but what i'll say is it is super expensive and thoughtful, so if that girl don't like it imam kick her in her little badonkadonk.

So, dear holy mother f*cker, please grante the gift of riches.


Now, part two.
In theater we were given the wonderful task of, making Music Video on whatever we please, I got to convince Mr.GSA to come to our group even though he hated Lady Gaga, which our group had already chose would be our singer. I felt pretty awesome that he agreed to come, i mean I thought he would be all, "ew, no. I hate lady gags." but no, so I think that was pretty cool of Him.

Also, we chose the sopng Alejandro which is my favorite song, so you know I had to, I mean I NEEDED TO be the lead, so as it shows I was the main person, aka, Ladu Gaga. And I had Mr. Theater as Alejandro so I basically got to um... grind all over him, well not really, but you know, I got to feel I'm up in a sort of artistic way, very fun.

So... Dear Holy Mother F*cker, please grant me the power to be able to do another fun music video like that, and by fun I mean something else, I won't say what, but as normal human beings you can decide what I mean by that.

And uh... Omg!! Have y'all read "The Masque of the Red Death"? Omg, very good story by Edgar Allen Poe. Like no joke, it's really good, i mean the words in it are kind of hard to understand, but like when you understand the words and the deep symbolism in it, you'll understand. It's really good. And I guess I only understood it because awesome teacher Mr. begg taught us, if he didn't I probably wouldn't understand it. So yeah, read it. And if you don't really get it, or you don't understand the symbolism or maybe you just want to chat with me about it... Then just comment or like send me a message (natsukemicah@hotmail.com) you know, if you want, I really want to know your thoughts on the story! I honestly think it's the best story, like I've ever read. Only because it makes sense of course.

Dear Holy Mother F*cker, I hope you bless the people of the world with the wonderful story, and p,ease bless then with the power to understand the story, I'm not calling them stupid, it's just written in words that I don't really get d:

So, that's pretty much it, and yeah you guess probably are wondering who the hell the Holy Mother F*cker is, well honestly. I'm nit a really religious person, so if I were to pray I prefer to do it in a non religious way. And because people always say Holy Mother F*cker a lot vie decided that whom,ever that is I must ray respects for. I mean honestly people keep using the name in vain, so it's the least I can do!!so yeah, that's it!! Thanks :D I say yay for the 3 wishes.

Hello My Darlings!!

    So!! It's been exactly a month and seven days since my last post, my bad. So, I got my L, my picture looks like a mix between a broken messed up version of Britney Spears and the drugged up, Lindsey Lohan put together. I don't know who that would look, but I doubt it's a Picasso.

    I'm really sorry about my lack of updates, but like you know... I'm just SOOOOOO POPULAR. But honestly, it's just school and like Emily. I know, not a very good excuse. But this is like my personal diary, so I'm sure I'm allowed to do whatever I want to with my blog. Don't I sound like the Diva?

   So, school's started. Wow, not even funny. I have Biology 12, Acting 12, Law 12, and English 12. Yeah, look 4 twelves, that shows that I have commitment. I recently found out that Lover, isn't actually going to school this semester, I think he's in a district program. I'm gonna say construction because construction workers are the second most hottest people in the world. My first has to be Roofers I don't know if they count as the same thing as construction workers, but I'm sure that they're different. I mean honestly, what do you think is the best occupation? I seriously love roofers I'm not kidding, they're like always strapping young men who just HAVE to work shirtless and they HAVE to have nice bodies, I mean how else will they hammer, no fat people, no. Sir! Oops! Off track, anyways yeah, I saw Lover, and I saw him in his cute little white shirt, overalls and steel toed boots and went, "Damn, if only you weren't straight... Nah, I'd still try something." kinda like that. Only that he was at the office of school giving papers so I had to hold my pants down I mean hello? If I were to commit well deserved rape in public in front of the secretary say goodbye to graduation! And a clean criminal record! And not to mention my AUDITION!! Yeap! I'm auditioning for the school play! "The StorySphere" Very posh. I heard a little about it, it sounds REALLY GOOD. I'll talk about it after! And then there's So Soft goodness sakes, that retard. He found out I liked him, did I tell you? Ok, I will then:

Not so Super Special Awesome story.

So it was the last day of school, I found out that a douche bag we call him "Unimpressive Genitals"; try and guess why, told So Soft that I liked him, I mean hello, do he even have to right to do that? No, stupid ass. Anyway, now So Soft avoids any contact with me and even though I live super close to him I never saw him, not even once. Even in school I haven't seen him. What's weird is that I basically haven't seen him since like.... June. So yeah, Unimpressive Genitals should be shot down. 

END.

So, yeah, that's what happened. I haven't seen So Soft since June and it's very sad. Oh well, I wonder if he got hotter d:

    Basically my school year kinda sucks, even if I am a senior, I mean seriously! High School Musical 3 did NOT prepare me for this. There's like homework every day, so lame. I've already had 3 Essays 3 NOT 1 OR 2 BUT 3. One might say, "Micah, what crazy banter you are spewing! How can one do 3 essays in 6 days!" Well reader, not only have I done 3 I must do one more tomorrow. Woo. Hoo. And yeah, I miss some of my grade 12 friends, and I miss how there are older and hotter guys, obviously not anymore! My heart is on hot Teacher's Assistants. That would be fun.

   On the bright side there's a new kid in my class this year! I think he's uber delicious, even if he is straight I don't mind. I can make it work. Somehow. It's the magic of my mind and mind control. I have that you know, I just do.

   And on the nasty side I found the hottest grade 8 ever, it's really nasty because he's in grade 8 as I am in grade 12. But! But! He's 13/14 and I'm 17 making it totally legal if he consents it! At least that's what I've heard... It's ok, just like before I'll make it work. He's a musician making him totally worth it, he has blonde hair, blue eyes and he has perfect posture and he is tall, making him my man. Yes, he will be my man. I don't know how that'll work, but it will. Don't Judge. Speaking of judges, I have Law, lame. I know for a fact my teacher hates me, no joke. He won't even answer my questions anymore. Aka. Totes rude. My English teacher is so effing hilarious except he's a slave driver as said above. And omg how did I get from hot grade 8 to slave drivers I need divine intervention. I don't know what that is, but it sounds lovely!

   Oh! And I have acting! Omg, yeah that's super duper fun!! Omg, I love acting. It's like so fun! I can be the GAYEST, LOUDEST and MOST RETARDED. And not be judged as weird. It's all in the name of acting!! For example, I have a blackberry with a cute pink case and a pretty sparkly heart sticker on it! It's actually really nice! But then some guy thought I was straight and was like, "Dude, what's with your phone? There's a heart sticker on it and it's purple." LOL. Is what I thought when I heard that, but I just said, "It's called taste, unlike yours which is wrapped in duct tape." Which indeed it was, his blackberry was broken ): And then the conversation went on to how my partner was trained by a Samurai in Martial Arts, and then my friend Lynette and I were like, "O. M. F. G. TOM. CRUISE?! TOM EFFING CRUISE TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FIGHT WOW. THAT'S CRAZY!!" Obviously not, but then Lynette was like, "Omg Micah, I love you, if only you weren't gay" and then the guy was like, "Oh... I get it now!" I'm so proud of him. Except today he tried reaching for his backpack, so I reached over and he was all, "Watch out, it's really heavy." I obviously lifted it without ease and said, "I'm gay, not incompetent." I feel like I showed him (:

    Then today there was the first Gay-Straight Alliance meeting. Omg, no it's NOT just for GAY PEOPLE so yeah, we need more members! We only have girls and guys from grade12. If it continues like that then... We'll have no members next year since I'm sure we're all going to graduate! So if you guys can think of anything to raise members, please! Don't hesitate to comment below and tell me!!!

   My mission is to get my Husband who's straight and my grade 8 Husband to join, OH! And the Gay Kid from Grade 8. Yeah, that's his name.

    Ok I've written way too much! Sorry for that. I promise I won't update every month, I'll do it like once a week so you don't have to strain your eyes... If anyone reads this anyway.... ): Ok well yeah, Love you all!! Thanks!!

"It's 7:30am!! You know what that means!! WAFFLE TIME!!!!"

FINALLY.

I think this will be a huge event in my entire life as a gay child in Canada.
I'm studying... To... Get... My L!
Yeah, Ok, I know it has nothing to do with being gay or living in Canada. But still, I think it'll change things... Not really. I don't even want to get it, I was pretty much forced into this. Everyone I know is always like, "Ooh Micah, you should totally do it! It'll be so fun! Woo!!" And it's like, "Uh, no thanks" and then they like grow devil horns or something and like threaten my life, so I guess taking my knowledge test will have some effect on my life.

I haven't really study, I looked it over. I did the practice test... I usually get like 80-93% which isn't good. You need 80% to pass... And the real test is out of 50 instead of the 25 that the online one has. Did i mention the real test is harder? The real test is harder. And, that leaves me enough room to get the minimum of 10 wrong.. Which isn't a fantastic number. But hey... I was wondering....

SCENARIO:
*Doing the test. Gets 98%. On the last question* "When you see a pedestrian you,

A. Run him over                              

B. Stop and wave him across           

C. Slow down and be ready to stop 

D. Speed up, you can surely pass him "

*Picks A*

*The ICBC worker looks over your test* "Oh, he totally picked the wrong answer. That psychopathic child"

WOULD THEY GO:

*Walks up to the person who took that test* "Congrats Brenda, you passed. You did amazing 98%"

OR

*Walks to the phone, looks at the sign above the phone that says, [Not even kidding] "To call 9-1-1, please dial 9-1-1" And calls 911* "Hi, we have a psychopath here."

CUZ HONESTLY I'M ACTUALLY CONFUSED!! They technically passed! I mean honestly!! They got over 80% But they chose THE RUN HIM OVER CHOICE! I wouldn't feel very safe...

I dunno... What do you think?

A. Find me and run me over.

B. I don't care, I'm too popular to pay attention.

C. I need to call 911, what's the number again?

D. Think about what?

More updates... Sigh... I need to post more

I met my husband. He started to avoid me because I stared too much.
I met my second husband. I took a picture with him. I forgot to ask his name.
I met my third husband. We totally hit it off. I know his name. He's straight.
I met my fourth husband. We totally hit it off. I know his name. He has a boyfriend.
I met my fifth husband. We totally hit it off. I know his name. He doesn't have a boyfriend. Because he has a girlfriend at the moment. [BI]
I met my sixth husband. I knew that was way too much for normal so I didn't do anything about it.


That's pretty much what happened in the span of 5 weeks. From June till now? Don't get me started.

OMG. The pride parade!!! Look what I've gained!

Pride gains: 21 condoms, 6 flavoured condoms, 2 condom+lube combos, sunglasses, bandana, fan, star, 2 hot guy pictures, a polaroid with hot sweaty guy, a picture with a drag queen, a picture with 2 trojan men, 3 Trojan tattoos, a @kylieminogue 3$ off coupon for her NEW AWESOME CD, 3 pins Dolly Parton, I ♡ cowboys and blood donations, a gay magazine and one husband. [He's the second husband]

I'm wearing the tattoo at the moment! LAWL. Hahah!

And I want an ear piercing... I have to wait till after grad photos d:

I think that's it LOL So I guess.... It's not really that much of a long ass story.

Legally Blonde the Musical. That's an amazing musical! You should watch it! I want the soundtrack so bad haha.

I honestly love Reese Witherspoon and Anne Hathaway. I think my top 5 movies are,

1. The Devil Wears Prada

2. Mean Girls

3. The Princess Diaries

4. Legally Blonde 1/2

5. Summer Storm

But honestly, this list changes without notices like 24/7 haha

"Remember the time we spent those four AMAZING hours in the hot tub? This feels so much better."

Hoe.Lee. Sh.Eat.

Ok yeah, obviously I haven't updated since May! Ok, fine... June. But still! It's [I've learned to use It's and Its now!] August! I mean honestly, what have I Been doing? WELL

1.Camping
2.Summer School
3.Me being "Popular"
4.Work


1. Camping
    So like many people I go camping in the summer. But unlike many other people I went camping in the States!! Yeah! Oregon and Washington. I love Nordstrom! So nice, but honestly... It's because all the employees are either a hot girl or a gay guy. You must be thinking, "Omg, you're totally lying! I mean hot girls and gay guys?! Mental!!" That's exactly what I said when my cousin told me! But when I arrived, I was awestruck. It was wonderful. It was like heaven... Oh! For the people who don't know what Nordstrom is, it's basically like a huge mall for amazing designer things! Like Louis Vuitton, Coach, Gucci, etc. etc. My cousins both bought two Gucci... Side bag-like things. It's cool, but that's so conforming. I mean everyone has them! But I'm being Hypocritical, I bought only brand name things! True Religion Jeans, Calvin Klein Bag, Guess? Jeans and etc. [God i sound like an advertisement] I even bought my first ever Hollister branded... Thing. [It was a Hoodie haha] and my first ever Sweat Pants, They're so comfortable! It's crazy! I've never had sweats before. Now that I have, it's like, "Woah. I should have worn them earlier on in my life." Anyway, back to Nordstrom. I love it. That's it haha.
   Ok, so you might be thinking, "Pfft, that's not camping! You just went shopping!!" well yeah... But we went camping where I met the love of my life haha, I'm not going into it. But I met my love and he actually acknowledged me, he said he'd love me and I believed him, but I made him promise to not contact me after I left the campsite, same for me... I mean... Long distance never works... Right? Anyway, there was this one campsite where they had these things called... Yurts they're like cabins... So I guess that takes away the whole camping thing, but still we only used it for one night... It was raining so badly... Like it's not even funny haha. [As I laugh.]
   Basically camping was amazing, but when I first arrived back home I went to the bathroom and actually did say out loud, "My first Canadian piss in weeks!" Yeap, that's me being lame.
   Now... I have a short little message about the states. All the guys there are super HOT!!! Yes! They're like basically all white, tall, good looking... But then there are others I guess. But basically it's [For the guys] You're either:  1. White and Hot
                      2. White and Hot and Gay
                      3. White and Hot, but Rude
                      4. Fat
                       5. A Child.
Yeap, those are basically the male categories... In my completely Biased and Racist opinion. Lots of the guys I saw were gay, and I had like many people flirt with me, it was so weird... I mean look at me! LOL. Yes, that's it. Oh and the girls are very pretty and some where really hot!


2. Summer School
You might be thinking, "Holy crap! An Asian!? IN SUMMER SCHOOL!?" I can say this because I've had that said to me before. So you know, we're all a little bit racist. But let me clear this up for you, I took summer school because I needed 4 provincial examinable courses in order to be a Math teacher [Yes, I'm Asian and I'm going to be a math teacher, I'm totally kicking down the stereotypes eh?] And I didn't want to take 5 months of History! And I know I'll fail Chemistry 12, so there's no point in that. So... It was 5 months put into 5 weeks. It was horrible and scary. I almost failed... Ok I wasn't close to failing, but whatever LOL. My friend Nisha was there! She helped me get through the tough times that is/was summer school. My teacher was pretty funny and pretty foxy too! (: I wanted it to end so bad, but now that it's over [It ended today] I kind of miss it... Just not the waking up early thing.

3. Me being "Popular"
I lied... I'm not popular. I just never like staying home. So i call people and we hang. No one ever calls me d: I feel so lame, but it's ok. I um... Have nothing else to say... I guess I was just busy haha.

4. Work
I worked, like once a week. But still I was too lazy to update after that. So yeah, speaking of work. I applied for Starbucks. I mean I didn't ask, they just went up to me and was like, "Do you work here?" "No..." "Oh, well have you dropped off your resume?" "A while ago haha." "Oh, well leave your name, and drop off your resume tomorrow! :D" "Ok! haha" So yeah, I dropped it off today.


I have more updates...

Ginger? Nature? How is this a Children's Festival?!

   Now, the last day. Sydney wasn't there, she was probably out to parties and junk LOL. But some of our friends were there! Like Natalie! and Arthur! They told me a funny story, "So i [Natalie] was like, "Ma'am no flash photography in here" she had a camera, but she was like, "I'm just eating a sucker!" LOL

 When we were there we decided to do something where we walk around behind a guy in stilts! His name was Lindsey and I'm pretty sure he was gay... but he was hot, that's all that matters. Did i mention he smelled good? He smelled good. Also I got to find out what Raoul real name was! It's Josh, Josh the Ginger.

  Mackenzie wasn't there, but there was a hot guy at the "MetroVancouver" booth. We got a picture there! It was my first polaroid! Also... I learned to juggle. Priscilla and I obviously made lots of sexual references... par example: *Deep voice* "Ugh, my balls dropped" and "Stop playing with my balls!! Get your own!!" and etc, LOL

  I spent all my time with Priscilla this time... except when she was feeding the treacherous nature [Ducks] Those bitches will cut you up!! She wanted to make kites, but i'm all, "I don't want to make your stoopid-ass kite!" so she just took one from the tent LOL.

  Through out the day I was looking for Raoul, but i couldn't find him and it was so upsetting!! Luckily though I found him at last, he was at the "Hands Talking Tent" It's sign language... it's ok, I didn't get it either. Unfortunetly nothing happened, oh well.


 So i think that's it? I don't know, if you can think of anything Priscilla [Which should be reading this] comment here and tell me!!

''Hi Eugene, can you clear this table for me?''